The Husband Story, part 2

We ordered another round of drinks. I never drank. Well, except for on Christmas or a special occasion with family. I had to make sure I still had a hold on what was going on around me. The last thing I needed was to get plastered and let this guy do god-knows-what to me.

We chatted more about school, work, friends, sports (I could only nod because I am clueless when it comes to athletics). Then, without warning, he changed the subject to sex. This was the point of the "date" that I dreaded. I didn't want to talk about it, but I also didn't want to seem like a prude.

I didn't know how I should conduct myself. I remember that I kept my eyes on my drink and didn't meet his. Or maybe I did once or twice. I knew I was blushing something fierce. I could feel the heat radiate up my neck and into my cheeks. It was an embarrassing topic for me because I wasn't all that experienced. I had a few hook-ups in the past, but I'd hardly call them relationships. I didn't want to tell him that though, so I did the only thing I could: I lied.

He asked me a lot of questions, many of them I can't remember. Although I know that I answered with whatever it was I thought he wanted to hear. He asked me if I'd ever been in a threesome. I lied and said "yes" but didn't remember much of it "because I was so drunk!" That was a good answer for him, I guess, because he smiled and nodded a lot. He asked me about what I liked in bed and I pretty much said "yes" to everything he mentioned. And I'm positive I didn't know what half the things were he was mentioning. But I just kept telling him what he wanted to hear. And I guess that's what made him ask me out again.

We left the bar before last call. I wasn't drunk at all. He was a bit tipsy. I know this is wrong of me, but I didn't care if he was driving home, walking, or taking a cab. I didn't ask. I just wanted to be alone and away from him. All the talk of sex just made me feel really uncomfortable and numb to the idea of seeing him again. I still felt like a big joke. Like he was going to go home to his buddies and tell them everything I said. And then they will all high-five and have a good laugh. Even though I was thinking this, I found myself agreeing to see him again. I told him I was pretty busy with school work, but I'd let him know when my tests were over and maybe we could get together then. The truth is, I didn't want to see him again, but I was too cowardly to say it. I guess I was worried about hurting his feelings? I don't know. He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned and stammered something stupid to avoid his lips. We ended up giving each other a really awkward hug. And then he said goodbye as I walked to the train.

(to be continued...)