Is It A Big Secret?
How many of you keep your eating to yourself?
Do other people know of your addiction? If so, are they willing to help or do they brush you off?
When/if you go on a diet, do you tell your significant other? What is his/her reaction?
Here are my answers:
Yes, I keep my food obsession to myself. I think I've been eating in secret since I was 7 or 8. I've never been able to break the habit. I have extreme anxiety about eating in front of people; even my husband and my family.
If I told my husband or my family and friends about my issues with food, I'm positive they would brush me aside and say something like "Well, of COURSE! You're fat. That's what fat people do." I don't have an understanding husband and I haven't ever had a very good relationship with my family. So I eat in secret. All day, every day.
The longest I've ever been on a "diet" is three days. I just don't have the willpower. And since I don't have the willpower, I don't tell anyone I'm on a "diet". Mostly because I know I can never stick to it. Plus, it would embarass me. If I told my husband, he'd laugh. I know he would.
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What I ate this weekend:
3 bowls of Cocoa Krispies
1 bag of chocolate covered pretzels
Microwave popcorn
Lots of diet coke
I made a batch of cinnamon apple muffins this morning and ate all of them, slathered in butter
A big box of Reeses Pieces (the kind you get at the movies)
Went to the chinese restaurant last night and ordered two meals, pretending like one was for my husband. He was away on Saturday. I ate two whole orders plus two egg rolls and an order of cream cheese wontons.
Haagen Daz strawberry ice cream
Two Rice Krispie treats I bought at the gas station
1 Cadbury dairy milk bar
At least 6 cups of coffee
What about you?
posted by Hey! Fat Girl! @ Sunday, June 18, 2006
5 Comments:
During my primary and intermediate days, I didn't hide my eating much - I ate healthy, but was still fat because I didn't exercise much. The reason why I didn't exercise? I'd get quizzical questions about my... 'developed' body parts (*cough* MY BREASTS *cough*).
It was only when high school and University started that I began hiding some of what I ate - I'd gobble down pies and chocolate milkshakes during the day when my parents had no idea what I was doing, and at night I'd have blocks of chocolate hidden in my drawers for me to nibble on.
Part of me overcoming my food demons has been admitting what I eat - a point I now make daily on my food blog, "Are you going to eat that". Seeing in black and white what I was eating brought it home that I wasn't being honest with myself when I told everyone 'I don't eat much junk', and while I haven't lost *too* much weight since then due to the up-down nature of my weight, I am now fitter, healthier and happier.
As for going on a diet/healthy living plan... I don't tell too many people, but there are three people that I tell. One is my cousin, and the other two are my friends - one who is trying to lose weight as well, and the other who has successfully lost the weight. That small, tight network is fantastic - I don't need to broadcast to the world what I'm doing, just to those few is great :D
Eeee. I've said too much! I'll wind up this post now.
I do the same, never tell anyone I'm trying to diet, for the same reason: it almost never lasts for very long and I don't want everyone to see me fail. It's tough enough to know myself. Although, I struggle with the notion that not telling anyone is actually like giving myself permission to fail at dieting. But then, I've also failed when I've told people I'm dieting, so I don't know how much of a motivator that is.
I also eat in secret because I'm ashamed of my gluttony. I always feel like people are judging me if I eat in public. It's so much like a drug, the complete intoxication and indulgence of it, it's embarrassing. Right now, the husband and I are trying to eat healthy, planned meals. But I've been keeping night hours so while he's sleeping, I'm eating. It's depressing, but I just feel like I need it, the comfort of it, I just want to eat!
OMG I am sooooo a closet eater!! In fact, I hate being home alone because I know I'll go nuts!!
Hi Honey :)
When I was a teenager I used to suffer from bulemia and it was hell on earth, I can tell you that. My mother and a few best friends were the only ones who knew about it until I met my now husband Fat Bastard and confided in him.
At the same time we met and I opened my heart to him, I also decided to go to a therapist for my eatind disorder and in time with the help of my supportive family, friends, FB and the sessions with my therapist, things got gradually better for me and I went from everyday binging to once in a while binging to hardly ever binging, which is where I am today.
I have recently stopped the therapy and shortly after began my online blog and together with my supportive, loving family, friends and all of the fantastic supportive people who visit my blog, I can now pretty much safely tell you that I am doing very well.
If you ever want to talk to me, either at my blog or by private e-mail, I am here for you regardless and I wish you strength and peace in your life. HUG
I finally told my husband two years ago. He was the first person I told (unless you count the boyfriend I told who totally brushed me off when I said, "I think I have an eating disorder"). Though he didn't really get it, he was patient and understanding as I explained it and he supports me in my recovery in whatever way he can.
I told my sister last year and she was very supportive, though she didn't get it either. One SIL ignored the whole thing when I told her. Another SIL and my dh's aunt listened and nodded, but didn't have much to offer.
I find that I don't sneak food much anymore, though I still do from time to time hide my eating from my dh. The amount of food I eat isn't anywhere near what I ate in my bingeing heyday.
I don't usually tell people when I'm trying to lose weight. I've never stuck to a real "diet" for longer than 3 days. When it becomes obvious that I've lost some weight, people start in with the comments -- you know, how great I look, that I should make sure to keep it off (wtf?), and the ever helpful "I thought you were trying to lose weight" when I eat anything remotely unhealthy. That drives me insane.
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